Hello Again

I wanted to congratulate this year's volunteers. I know they'll all do amazing work. I decided to give other people the chance to have this incredible experience by not applying for the upcoming trips. Thanks to Children's Global Alliance, I have become a different person. These amazing people gave me a chance to make a difference in the world. Words cannot express how thankful I am for the experience I had this year. 

“Be truthful, gentle, and fearless.”

– Gandhi

Everyday Is An Opportunity

It seems like just yesterday when we arrived in Cambodia. I remember seeing S21 and the Killing Fields at the beginning of the trip and it is hard to believe we are already at the end. Now that we have left the country, it really sinks in what an amazing experience this was.

I am torn between wanting to be home and wanting to be with the kids. I miss the kids so much and want to give them each one more hug. They are part of my family and it kills me to leave them. They are wonderful and amazing and I miss and love them with all of my heart. I am so proud of the work we did for them. We built them a house, cut the grass, cleaned, swept, organized, deloused, and so much more. The house is really amazing. I love everything about it, the color, the beds, the flowers, and especially the people in it. The kids deserve everything that all of the volunteers from Children's Global Alliance have done. It is a great feeling to change someone's life in a positive way. It can be picking up trash or taking them to a foreign country on a service trip.

This experience has helped me become a better person. I have gained more self awareness, skills, and strengths. It has encouraged me to set goals for myself and not stop until they are achieved. I realized that I don't need to start off shy; I can be my true self from the start. There is no point in holding back, all you get from that is regret. This trip has challenged me mentally and physically, but in the end has given me a great reward.  It taught me to live in the moment and make the most of everyday. I will continue to work on improving my weaknesses and step out of my comfort zone. I will treasure this experience and all it has taught me for the rest of my life.

Everyday is an opportunity, you have to decide what you're going to make of it.

Until Next Time

Saying goodbye is the hardest part. No matter how much I prepare for them, they always take me by surprise.

These last days will stay with me forever. Today was one of the best and the worst days of my life. The morning was a blast. We made bracelets, colored, and played. The kids did a performance for us and I have to say that they are fantastic dancers. After the dancing, things got very emotional.

There are no words to describe the way I felt when I was hugging everyone goodbye one last time. The tears overpowered me and wouldn't stop until there was none left. It is unbearably hard to think that there could possible be no tomorrow with the kids, there may not be a next time. It is hard enough to say goodbye to someone you could never see again, but it feels like your heart is being shattered when you have to say a final goodbye. I kept telling myself that I'll come back and see them again, but my doubts shadow that little shred of hope. I truly love them with all of my heart. They are my family and I will love them forever.

I read the letters they gave me over and over, it felt like me eyes kept gravitating towards their words. I can't believe that we have only known them for two short weeks. It amazes me that you can give and receive so much love in such a short period of time. When I hugged them goodbye one last time, it was incredibly hard to let go. I wanted to pull them closer, hug them tighter, and never ever let them go.

When Lavin saw me crying in the tuk tuk, saying my last goodbyes, he came over and told me to smile because that's how he wanted to remember me. Him saying that made me cry harder, but smile too. Watching them chase after the tuk tuk as we drove away was heart breaking. I have never said I love you so many times in one day.

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present.

Yesterday, I tutored English with Scott in the library. It was really fun and the kids knew a lot. Tutoring helped me with my concentration and patience. We went back to the orphanage and started a project. Some of the girls cut the grass while the boys built goals so they could have a field to play soccer on. We got to play with the kids on and off the new field. It was really nice being able to enjoy our hard work.

The last two days we spent more time with the kids and I really bonded with them. They are so much fun and I am having a hard time even thinking about leaving them. Tomorrow is our last day at the orphanage and I have accepted the fact that I am going to cry. I love these kids so much! Right now, I am covered in names and hearts that the kids drew on me. They are so wonderful and amazing and I can't believe that I will probably never see them again. I just want to take them all home.

""Live everyday as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."
-Ghandi

Share the Love

When you learn to live, love, and laugh like these kids, everything in the world is perfect. They are not orphans, all of the volunteers from Children's Global Alliance are their family.

The house is finished. It is painted Pacific Blue and I am incredibly proud of what we accomplished. The kids have never slept on a bed in their lives and seeing them move into the house is indescribable. I have never been so full of complete and utter joy in my life. The boys were so happy to move in. They had the happiest look on their faces when they came inside and picked their beds. I couldn't stop smiling. The kids can turn any bad day into an amazing one, and that is so valuable.

Yesterday, I taught in the English school. The school is made of wood and puts me in a good mood. It is full of quotes and drawings from the students. I wasn't the best teacher, so I was very lucky to have Karlie there to help me. The kids were more advanced in English than I had expected, it took me by surprise. Actually teaching people English was a lot more challenging than I thought it would be but it felt good to be challenged mentally and not just physically.

Today and yesterday the kids made us drawings and cards. I am going to hang up each one in my room when I get home. I love each and everyone of these kids so much, I am contemplating stuffing them in my suitcase and bringing them home. They are so adorable and wonderful.

Finishing something is great, but finishing something for someone you love, is brilliant.

Let's Think

Every drop of sweat, every step, every piece of trash picked up is to better someone's life. I am becoming a better and happier person because I know I'm helping other people.

Yesterday, I had to pick up trash outside the orphanage as a punishment for turning in my lesson plan late. It gave me a lot of time to think. I decided to not let myself get distracted and really push myself to always be doing something productive. You need to bring change, not just wait for it.

Today, I spent the majority of the day with little kids from the slums and some from the orphanage in the library. The library is nothing like our libraries in America, it is more like a shack with shelves and books. The cement floor is covered by thin mats and there are ants in every corner. It is not clean by any stretch of the imagination, a lot of young, dirty children come in there everyday. Its is nothing like I pictured it to be. There were about 16 kids and they all wanted to be picked up and played with. For the most part, the kids were good. When I was coloring with them, I was imagining what it would be like to live their lives. It confuses me how Americans have so much but are so unhappy and how these kids have so little but are filled with joy. I also found out that you can do nails by coloring them with crayon. My day was filled with laughs and smiles.

We are making a lot of progress on the boys' house. Tomorrow, we will finish the windows, put up the walls, and possibly paint. Today, we cemented the lower sides of the house and the floor. I don't think we could do it without the people that help us everyday, like our lovely translator Meng, the tuk tuk drivers Boo Phat and Boo Lei, and so many more that aren't payed to help us. I know that this experience will improve my skills, self worth, and self knowledge.

“Give them a reason to remember your name.” I want to be the person that changes there lives.

See You Tomorrow

 I love knowing we’re working so hard every day for the kids. It’s an amazing feeling that can turn a bad day into a good one and will make you smile every minute. The kids are some of the best people I’ve ever met, they don’t hold back any love, it is aw warranting. You can’t help but grin when you’re around them.

Today was a very productive day. We laid the brick foundation for the boys’ dorm and then filled it with dirt and rocks. It was difficult and exhausting, but every little drop of sweat is worth it. The supports for the walls and roof were put up in just a few short hours. I still can’t believe how fast everything is going. I’m so excited to finish the house and to see the kids’ faces when they see the new building. I pushed myself harder today and I was so proud of what I accomplished. It seems that when I believed I could get it done, I could. I was drenched in sweat, but was so overjoyed that I didn’t care.

The kids are so wonderful. They are all amazing and unique in their own way. It is truly astounding how they don’t care about tomorrow, they live for today. I think they have the cutest laughs in the whole world. One of the younger girls, SokChia, reminds me of my little cousin, and it brings a smile to my face. It cracks me up how the orphanage’s dogs’ names are Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, and Tina. There are so many simple, funny, random things that happen in Cambodia. I can’t wait to spend another day at the orphanage.

“It doesn’t matter where you’re going, it matters what you do along the way.” Our extraordinary work here will certainly contribute to an amazing journey.